Self-development is all about self-awareness. The first step of Personal Development Coaching is to learn about our temperament. Then, we start taking control of our emotions and reactions. This can partially be achieved via autonomous work with ourselves, but ultimately it needs facilitation.
What is Temperament?
Temperament describes the nature of a person and many concepts have been developed to put people into different categories. One of the most scientifically investigated is probably the BIG 5 personality trait. This can be particularly helpful for team members to understand each other.
But, when it comes to personal development coaching, the definition of my teacher Dr. Klaus P. Horn is much more practical:
“Temperament is the interplay of different inner personalities.”
Discovering your Temperament
Everyone knows the situation when you need to take a decision, and there are great arguments for either way to go forward. For example, on one hand: “Let’s go for the new job in a challenging start-up” But the other hand: “The current job is safe and in a well-established company”. It feels like there are two people in our head, and to whoever we listen, the arguments are reasonable. And it may sound odd, but we can deal with it exactly like this. There the “conservative one” who prefers to stay safe, opposed to the “adventurous one”, who loves to step out of the comfort zone.
The Concept of the “Inner Team”
In case of a decision process, it is easy to rationalise. Consequently, we can acknowledge both inner selves. But temperament is usually connected with a personality change that we are unaware of. For example, when we suddenly get aggressive in front of someone we don’t like. Here, the concept of the “Inner Team” is of great value. It says that every one of us has a different inner leadership team of two or three main personalities. Now, depending on the situation, one of them takes leadership.
When do different inner Team Member take over?
Examples for such situations are:
- We meet someone who we dislike,
- In an emotional moment,
- Something happens that is different from our expectations,
- We switch between work and private life.
And here, leadership is taken unconsciously. We cannot control it and we usually do not question this change or even notice it. This is what we call our “blind spot”.
The Coach in Personal Development Coaching?
Yes, we can coach ourselves and work on ourselves. But it is the “blind spot” which ultimately requires an outsider, a facilitator, a coach. And with the help of a coach, we can deliberately step into the roles of different personalities that “make” our temperament or personality. The coach becomes the mirror for us, outside our “blind spot”. As a result, we can see which inner personality is acting. Then we can acknowledge it from the position of a “conscious self”.
Voice Dialogue in Personal Development Coaching?
This process is called Voice Dialogue. It has been developed by the psychotherapists Hal and Sidra Stone in the 1970’s. During this process, the coachee is stepping into the roles of his inner selves. By doing so, he acknowledges them and becomes able to deal with them consciously.
Voice Dialogue is also a specific Systemic Constellation because the coachee steps into the different selves of his own “Inner System”.
In which Situations does Voice Dialogue help?
For which situations in Personal development Coaching is Voice Dialogue useful?
- when there is a person that you really dislike, and you want to deal with that person professionally,
- when you want to change a habit
- when you want to maintain close relationship in a healthy way,
- when a couple relationship changes dramatically by the birth of a child and the fulltime lover turns into a fulltime mother
Systemic Constellation of the Inner Team
Usually, you will go for a Personal Development Coaching when you have got a pressing issue to solve. But you can just now reflect on your behaviour and emotions in every-day situations. This might give you an idea about your own temperament and which different inner personalities are your main inner players. And if you would like to find out more about them, at ConsulToSee, we are always happy to support you.
